I didn't know your were so sick, I didn't know that your lungs and heart were filling up with blood or a fluid of some type and it was getting harder and harder for you to breathe. The vet said that you had a reaction to some toxic poisoning and to keep you warm and make sure you got plenty of water. And, if you weren't better in the morning to bring you in. How my heart went out to you. I'll never forget that look on your face. You were in pain and I could see the disbelief in your eyes. But I didn't know what I could do except comfort you.

Max, I want you to know how I cried and how I'm crying now. You came to us as a little puppy found on the door step... I didn't want to love you, I didn't want to keep you... I couldn't, the landlords didn't even know about Niki! I kept saying one of these days...but those days turned into weeks and weeks into months. How I loved to see you chase the butterflies, or sniff the air when the Lemon tree was in full bloom. You loved smelling the flowers. You taught me a lot about "smelling the flowers" and unconditional love. You were a smart dog.

I was so mean to you and if I could I would take it all back....but you tested me...the time you got bit by that pit bull and needed 22 stitches .... I remember looking at you walking ever so slowly into the dining room and you kept your eye on me...then went behind the chair and peed! You knew that you weren't suppose to potty in the house ..and the time you broke Tiana's favorite CD and tore up all my bills!!!!!!...do you have any idea the laughter I got when I had to call all my creditors and I told them "My dog ate my bills"?? I smile just thinking about it now.....but I didn't then. I took you to the pound......you were scared and snapped at the kennel person....they marked on your folder "aggressive" and told me if you didn't settle down and start eating you wouldn't be adoptable and they would PYTS...... I felt terrible. That night I couldn't sleep. All I could do was think about you. The next morning, our neighbor Rich told me to go down and get you, otherwise I would regret it. I did and when they brought you out you almost jumped into my arms, you were so happy to see me. That is the day the bonding began and I have never regretted bringing you back home.

Guess what, baby boy? Tiana found one of your old tee shirts you used to wear when you were a puppy. Niki is wearing it. Remember it? the red one that says "Feisty and Fierce!" It barely fits her..... but she is wearing it because it was yours and she feels closer to you. She told me. Niki misses you so much. Not a day goes by she doesn't ask me "when is Max coming home?" She looks so sad when I tell her that you are at the Rainbow Bridge and can't come home. Sometimes she hears or sees something ..... could it be your spirit visiting? She has told me about all the times you played and when you thought Kody was going to hurt her you stepped in between them! What a good boy. She misses cleaning your eyes and ears...Kody lets her do it but when it comes to the ears it tickles him!
And, Kody told me that he learned so much from you and he still had alot to learn but he is trying so hard to be the dog that you knew Mommy would want him to be. You taught him well my friend.

Max, you didn't have to die. I don't know what happened... but something is amiss. Something happened..... maybe during your surgery or the last time you went to the vet...we can't be sure...... I came home one night and Tiana told me that when she got home about an hour earlier there was no water in their water dispenser ( we both checked it in the morning and it was full)! and Max was drooling excessively and drinking tons of water when she filled the dispenser up. He had vomited... clear bile in several places, except one had a brownish/light tan tint to it, labored, raspy sounding breathing, shaking, increased water intake, the excessive drooling, urinating on the spot, stool's are black. He walks around as if in a daze, he lies down and has a very hard time getting back up, acts like he can't move, he will not eat... coughed earlier in the day.... 1x that I know of... a deep barrel chested cough... I had to go to work...... Max will not eat, and I'm afraid to give him anything for fear of him throwing it up. I called the vet, approximately 6:30.... vet is with patients will have him return my call. Talked to a vet at approximately 7:20 pm told him that Max had been on Rimadyl and Amoxicillian , taking his last dosage of both the night before and the symptoms Max is having .... should I bring him to emergency? is there something I can do for him here? I will take him to emergency if necessary ..."no, it's not necessary" .....the vet replies, "sounds like he may have gotten something lounged in his throat or toxic poisoning. WHAT? The only thing that could have caused this reaction in him was the Rimadyl. He didn't get it from here! the vet says to keep him warm, make sure he has plenty of water and if he isn't better in the morning bring him in immediately."

Before going to bed I thought I noticed a slight bruising, light blue in color on suture on his belly. The next morning I woke up and found you on the bathroom floor. Lying there as you always did when I took a shower. You were protecting me ... looking out for me to make sure I didn't fall and wouldn't need you. I kissed you one more time and petted you on the back. You tried to move your tail but couldn't...... you sighed..... then you were gone. A dark cloud appeared in the house.....Niki, Kody and even Tofu, the cat, hung their heads down. All three still look for you. The daffodils and Lemon tree did not bloom this year. And the Butterflies do not come around as much. But a bunch of them appeared the day you died.

Know this baby boy...your Mommy won't rest until she gets justice or at least tries. I have done my research and talked to many people and now I know what I must do. And, I do it to try and spare others from the pain that we have gone through. You were my Protector, my Confidant, my Buddy, my Best Friend, my Boyfriend. If a dog and human can be soul mates, you were mine. I loved you with all my heart and I still do. You were our hound dog......how you loved to throw back your head and howl when you were happy or tying to make a point. Actually I think you were doing it for the attention........you knew we thought it was so cute! I kiss my fingers and touch your cremation holder every night and say good night and in the morning I do it again and say good morning to you. I hope you hear me. I hear you or feel it when I think your responding to me.

As long as I live, I'll never forget you ...you will always be in my heart .... FOREVER.
Rest well, my big baby boy. One of these days I'll meet you at the Bridge. You will know when to look for me.

Janie

***A fact sheet was not given to me on the adverse effects of Rimadyl. I suspect that this drug is what caused the DIC in Max and why he bled out of his nose and mouth. The autopsy also stated that Max had Cardiomyopathy......... a pre-existing heart condition was never known.
Pfizer and the Vet do not agree with me. However, when I called the Poison Center Hotline the doctor I spoke too said that Rimadyl COULD NOT be ruled out completely. It causes the blood platelets to break down and creates a toxin in the stomach if the dog is hypersensitive to the drug or has a sensitive stomach .....which Max did. ***

Niki, Kody and even Tofu, the cat still look for you!