My beloved
animal companion, Chelsea, passed away from renal failure
in 2003,
and a friend’s beloved animal companion passed away
from a lethal combination of prescription and over-the-counter
medications in 2005.
I’ve cried
more tears than I thought I was capable of crying,
I’ve dried my eyes, and then I’ve cried again.
I’ve asked my brain to explain to my heart why my
loving canine friends died their excruciatingly painful
deaths.
I’ve consulted books, articles, vets, breeders,
friends, pet loss support hot lines, and spiritual advisors
in my quest for peace.
I’ve prayed for comprehension, and I’ve prayed
for healing.
I’ve allowed the passage of time to begin to dull
the pain of loss, one day at a time.
I wrote Nine Roses for Chelsea: A Spiritual Journey; by
sharing Chelsea’s and my extraordinary story, I
believe I have helped many others to better understand
and care for their animal companions and for themselves.
I’ve learned
that each of us heals in our own way and in our own time,
and I’ve learned that the path to healing begins
with our loving ourselves enough to be willing to release
the pain and guilt so that we can begin to move into love,
forgiveness, gratitude, and acceptance.
I know how hard this can be.
Even if we consciously want to do this, there’s
often an unconscious part of ourselves that resists doing
this.
By holding onto the pain, we often feel that we’re
holding on to the animal.
I have gradually
come to realize that the love I have felt and still feel
for my animal friends makes my heart feel much happier
than the pain of loss I have felt and still occasionally
feel.
I’d much rather feel love than loss.
Feeling the love allows me to fully engage once more in
the flow of life;
I believe that’s what I am supposed to do for as
long as I am alive.
When the feelings
of loss come up from time to time, I acknowledge the feelings
and then concentrate on filling my heart with the love
and sweet memories that will always connect me with my
animal friends.
My animal friends have been my best teachers of unconditional
love and fidelity,
and I honor them by sharing all the love that I can possibly
share with other animals and people in my life.
By doing this, I am nurturing and adding to the love my
animal friends gave me.
I consciously appreciate my animal friends now in Spirit
for having opened my heart each day they were here and
for continuing to open my heart a little more each day.
I just
reread what I wrote and am appreciating how much
I’ve learned and how much I’ve healed
within myself.
I’m blessed
to know loving people with great wisdom to share.
They’ve helped me, and I’m now hoping their
words will help you.
My intention is that at least one thought shared in this
article will activate a healing response within you:
“Most
people I know are human. Because they’re human,
they cannot know everything that’s going to be good
for their dogs. It’s all a learning curve. I’ve
seen instances where what’s happened with one dog
has taught us to do things differently with all our dogs.
“If
it’s not time for the dog to die, then the dog’s
not going to die. I really feel this is true. I’ve
seen instances of dogs I really thought would die but
didn’t, and I’ve seen instances of dogs I
really thought would live but didn’t. I’ve
seen it happen where dogs who are ready to go want to
be around their people, and I’ve seen it happen
where dogs who are ready to go arrange to die when their
people are away, if their people won’t be able to
handle watching them go. Focus on the many good memories
you’ve shared with your animal companion, and know
that the passage of time lessens the pain.”
Pat Gamsby, Norwegian Elkhound breeder and Classical Homeopath,
Montville, New Jersey
“There are no accidents
in this world. Everything was meant to be. No one passes
away a second before they are supposed to pass away, and
no one passes away a second after they are supposed to
pass away. We have to do everything possible to avoid
making mistakes in caring for those we love. However,
if something happens that is beyond our control, or if
we realize that we could have done something differently,
we have to accept that the passing was meant to be. We
must forgive ourselves for what we did or did not do,
we must forgive the animal for leaving us, and we must
forgive God.” Rabbi Moses, spiritual leader
of Congregation Ohr Penimi, Thornhill, Ontario, Canada
“None of us is supposed
to be here forever. It’s part of life to live and
then pass on. When our life has been fulfilled, we return
to where we came from. It’s a natural part of life.
Every animal we live with is a soulmate. Your soulmate
is meant to be with you and then move on. The next one
is another soulmate, and the one after that is another
soulmate. Eventually, everyone moves on. Know that you
did everything you could do for your companion animal.
Don’t second-guess yourself. Instead of putting
all your faith in a drug that may or may not work for
a particular animal, know that the drug will work if it
is supposed to work. You did what you were supposed to
do, and so did your pet.” Rosemary Manziano,
DVM, Colts Neck Animal Clinic, Colts Neck, New Jersey
And finally….
“When,
after seven years together, our quiet, elegant doggie
daughter Ellsee passed away, in a characteristically elegant
and quiet way, we needed a way to channel our grief. Volunteering
as afternoon dog walkers at the local animal shelter gave
us a way and a means to alleviate sadness while sharing
our time with dozens of loveable dogs of all types, sizes
and spirits. One young underweight scraggly terrier mix
named Natalie leapt right into our hearts as our special
project. With our careful brushing, Natalie’s pathetic
coat became fluffy and shiny. Natalie gobbled the extra
food and treats we smuggled in to help her attain a normal
weight. We all benefited from the daily walks and runs,
the hugs and positive talk, “You are such a good
girl. You are such a pretty doggie,” etc. Before
long, Natalie was the smiling, shining star of the shelter
-- so healthy and cute she was enthusiastically adopted
by a loving family with children. In my heart, I know
Natalie will joyfully contribute to those wonderful people
for many years. Putting our grief for our Ellsee into
action for other four-leggeds, especially for Natalie,
was our best tribute to a lovely spirit…a spirit
that’s always with us.” Cait Stanley
and James Napier, Hot Springs, Arkansas
I wish you healing, and I send
love and blessings to you – Sheryl
Sheryl
Hirsch-Kramer is the author of Nine Roses for Chelsea:
A Spiritual Journey, the uncommon tale of a soulmate
love shared by a human and an animal that led both on
a spiritual journey continuing beyond death. Chelsea,
a champion Norwegian Elkhound, was and is Sheryl’s
greatest teacher. The extraordinary connection between
Chelsea and Sheryl led Sheryl to write her book and
offer lectures on the soul purpose of animals, animal
communication, and how we humans can help our animal
companions lead happier, healthier and longer lives.
Sheryl invites you to read her other articles about
our animals and ourselves at www.newparadigmhealing.com.
